Your Health, Your wealth

Health=Wealth

As they say, your health is indeed your wealth, some put it as, your health is your first wealth.

But, let us be honest how much effort do we put to it? We run for the number two wealth which comes in form of money (and frequently mistaken as number one)

I found this below extract useful, written by Dr. Perez. 

“The Gut Solution.

Millions of British people suffer from a lack of energy, digestive discomfort and difficulty losing weight. Many also suffer from muscle and joint pain, skin problems, headaches, and even frequent colds.

“If you’re having any of these health issues, the real problem could be a gut poisoning syndrome,” says nutrition expert Raphael Perez.

According to Raphael Perez – who has studied the gut poisoning syndrome for more than 10 years – certain foods can cause tears in the intestinal lining. This, in turn, allows toxins to enter our body which leads to digestive issues, food cravings, fatigue, weight gain, and more health issues.

Fortunately, by simply stopping gut poisoning, Perez has seen thousands of people fight and reduce these disturbing problems.

“It’s easy. You just need to know what foods to avoid, ”he recently told a crowd of over 250 people, giving them a talk on bowel issues.

Now, for the very first time, doctor Raphael Perez has created a short video where he explains all about gut poisoning syndrome, including how people can naturally strengthen their gut, right from home.

“Good health is one of life’s toughest obstacles,” he explains. “So, if this video can help people achieve that, I’ll be thrilled to hear I was of help.”

The video has since gone viral, first being shared by users on Facebook, then being featured on news sites like Daily Mail and The Sun.

So far, the comments and feedback have been outstanding, with thousands of British people feeling better than they have in decades.

Click here to watch the presentation…”

 

Lifeplus…

Do look after yourself and check out this link for more information and products to look after your health. After all, if you happen to live long, you better have good health to match.

I joined Lifeplus about a month ago through referral.

 

My first choice of product was the colon cleansing formula, it made my body feel like a million-dollar.

For me it was a no brainer as I love watching my body fight a good fight.

See, I previously bought items from Amazon, which was okay-ish, but why not go for better healthier option and potentially make money off it?

Experience…

Just before I leave, I will share a funny story, at least it is funny to me.

So, when my colon formula arrived my friend was at home at the time. He wanted his to react fast, get results instantly, you know that generation, don’t you? Haha!

And so, rather than follow the instructions he mixed it up as he pleased. He ended up spending a good two hours in the wet room. I found it so funny as he said he was trying to get it work like what his grandmama gave him, and he loved it. Couldn’t stop laughing!

 

Anyway, I went for the whole program. That is the beauty of choice, he got what he wanted I got what I wanted, steady results.

I welcome any questions and would like to hear your thoughts.

 

Goodluck.

 

 

©Nicolle Hanselmann 2021

 

Source:

https://gut-solution.net/blog/?utm_source=yh&utm_campaign=Easy%20Digest_UK_Women&utm_term=uk.yahoo.com&utm_content=36006002540&t=yhDr.

Raphael Perez

Doctor & Nutritionist

Dr. Perez is a doctor renowned worldwide for his knowledge in natural medicine.

In his practice, he focuses on energy, well-being and weight management. For a decade, he has educated his patients and provided everyone with solutions based on scientific evidence and proven to work.

Photo credit:

Pexel.com

 

 

Parents-Building Healthy Relationships

Do not ever wait to enjoy your parents, do it now.

Let them know how much they mean to you, now.

Tell them how much you love them,

show them how much they mean to you, now  

May it be in both words and actions.

Family

May I revisit the topic about family? Please!!!

We established that not everyone is lucky to have a loving close-knit family, isn’t it? But, if they are fairly ‘sane’ and supportive, take it and run. Yeah, run!

Why am I saying this?

Well for starters, it is difficult, probably extremely difficult, to attract the success we want without close friends and family to love and support us unconditionally. (Covered this in my free eBook Unscratched (not))

Isn’t it amazing attaining the success we seek and have people to share it with? After all we are not islands, right?

We are hardwired to have people around us. #Ubuntu.

So I will ask you again to allow me to revisit the topic about parents and healthy relationships in general.

Our parents, did the best they could, with whatever resources they had, to their best knowledge, to give us the life they never had. If you need to blame your parents for their shortcomings and you believe that it will make you feel better, then go ahead and do it, but, do not dwell on it, move away from it, forgive them, forget and build something new with them. 

“If you haven’t forgiven yourself something, 

how can you forgive others?”

Dolores Huerta.

(Note: This is only applicable to instances where there hasn’t been any extreme abuse that need professional therapy or help, otherwise read on )

Photo by Streetwindy from Pexels

Believe it to not, a man’s character is determined by how they treat others even when no one is watching.

Charity begins at home.

Start with your parents, give them what you would like your children to give you, that is love and acceptance. That is all we ever want.

 

Take some time and reestablish strong foundations with the people who sacrificed so much for you, from a point of meaning well but not knowing how to show it.

My personal experience (and relationship) with my mum is a deep affair. We had our share of dramas, it needs coffee and popcorns to indulge, but to be fair, I was a handful. However, for some crazy reason this flipped to the good side. Later on as an adult, every time I asked my mum to mention me in her prayers, they got answered, so for me I know my blessings pass through her and it humbles me so much. Some might assert that it is some sort of superstition but it works for me, it might as well be, so why not?

 

Nurturing Family Bonds

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

If there are people who can draw out the best in you… and the worst in you…in all possible ways… in the same breath, in the same sentence…then that would be family. They have very special powers over us.

Siblings can drive you to the wall grr! and parents…where do I even start?

But in times of crisis, the bond forged is unparalleled.

          Successful Relationship

  • Take some steps back and monitor how the relationship you have with family has evolved. Notice the patterns and unhelpful behaviours formed over the years. Examine the roles you play in the dynamics of the relationships. What part do you play? Have you accepted that change is inevitable?
  • Banish blame. Read more about blaming effectively in my other articles about forgiveness.
  • Watch your language. It has the power to create or break.
  • Devise strategies to get out of arguments or defuse them immediately before they escalate.

Tip: Instead of spending time blaming and complaining about your parents for their past failures , why not just accept them for who they are, you turned out ok, or “ok-ish” anyway. For those who are in unsalvageable relationships, create your own family, find loving people who will “adopt” you as their own to act as your parents. There are people out there full of love to give, your job is to find them.

 

Goodluck.

 

Ps: Giving up on our parents should be the very last resort, they tried with us let us do the same for them. It is a form of paying forward as our children we be watching the positive things we do and hopefully copy them.

 

©Nicolle Hanselmann 2021

 

Revenge is a Dish Best Never Served- Forgiveness

Revenge is a Dish Never Served.

She Wanted to Hire Someone.

In one of my YouTube videos I shared my story on how I got fleeced by family.

That story got a lot of my friends tell me some of theirs own experiences. I realised how mine was just child play.

I will make it into a 4 part weekly series, we can learn a thing or two from the stories, all I will do is change their names for obvious reasons.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

-Gandhi

She has been away from home for nearly two decades but she can’t wait to get home for unusual reasons. She can’t wait to get home to teach her conning family a lesson. She is so anxious and using her own words “ I am contemplating on hiring a man with a machete”. 

Today, I will share Lisa’s story.

Lisa is an East African diaspora in her 40s and lives with her husband Ben in the UK, they have no children together.

Nothing came easy for her, the only constant in her life was her resilience. Lisa had spent most of her resources battling her immigration status.

During this period it had always been work for her. Travelling was a big risk of never being allowed back into the country. Just like it is expected of her, she would deprive herself of wants to help her family, this meant miss family but just keep working for them.

The gods found favour in her and gave her a loving man, which also helped speed up her citizenship and improved their finances, they are doing well.

Prior to that she had managed to save and send home over £12,000 towards her dream red-bricked house, complete with a verandah and garage, the works. It was her back up plan or could serve as her retirement home.

Bear in mind, this money was aside from the monthly recurring upkeep she would send to her family.

Lisa has a close sister that she trusted. It made sense for the sister to oversee the building works.

Whist her dream home was underway, she also managed to pay for her brother’s course, operation of a crane course, something of that sort. A handy course that could help him and others around him.

Hate or love technology.

One beautiful day driving to work she received a phone call, using her handsfree, she answered. It was a whistleblower. She almost fainted from the call, behind the wheel. She had to pull over to the kerb. The person then asked her to check her WhatsApp as she was about to send to her some photos.

Lo! and behold.

Her brother preferred holidaying with his wife rather than studying. Leather bags were more appealing than cranes. He’s newly furnished home better than manoeuvring some middle aged equipment. Who wants to improve their lives anyway if it can come easily? Her red-brick home? Take a guess.

Forgiving is a big ask.

But a necessary one too. We do it for ourselves. You cannot take poison and hope the other person dies. Look after your mental wellbeing. Always put your gas mask on first before helping others.

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.

Marianne Williamson

I found that in my story, I will share the link below, forgiving helped me heal and sleep well.

Bearing hate, grudge, and being angry or resentful is a huge energy drain that could affect other areas of your life as well block off your blessings.

It takes great courage to forgive especially where money is involved. Always forgive anyway.

Don’t let the past weigh you down. Forgive. Go ahead and call people you have wronged or have wronged you and ask for forgiveness, then watch yourself shade some pounds of weight, instantly.

 

Goodluck.

 

Link to my story on Youtube My Con Story

 

 

If you need someone to talk to, about anything else or more about forgiveness, please do get in touch we respond to all emails.

©nicollehanselmann 2020

Photo by Markus Spiske pexel.com

Article is a reblog from https://andreas-denz.com/2020/10/29/revenge-is-a-dish-never-served/

They Will Make You Dry-Forgive Yourself

The articles I have been re-sharing from http://www.andreas.com were part of a series, I bet you deserve the whole juicy bits, don’t you?

 

Forgive Yourself.

“No one can make you inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt.

Photo credit Pixabay pexel.com

“…Flies all over his face, the ground around his lower bottom wet, we all can assume what that means, more happy flies around his crouch.

He is blacked-out on that muddy ground oblivious of the people surrounding him, and watching him with so much curiosity and sadness.

No one knows for sure whether he will get up or not…”

That is Fred on the ground like his normal day.

 

Today I will share Fred’s story.

I said I will do a four part series and hope we learn from them, this is the second one.

My hope is that we learn a thing or two especially on forgiveness.

(I can vouch for this story. Name changed for privacy purposes)

Fred was the first born of a family of 5 children.

He had a brilliant mind that got him enrolled, through sponsorship, into an overseas University.

Fred ended up in Europe.

And as expected he ended up having lots of friends (and family) who needed his help. This the point where any remote relation is milked, if your cat and their cat has a kitten then you are related.

Like a typical diaspora he wasn’t exempted from being fleeced.

Straight from a standard textbook example…

Exploitation 101…

Fred educated people who never bothered to go to school or take advantage of the opportunity. He helped people start businesses that they never bothered to see flourish.

Eventually, packing his bags he retired young, to a businesses of his that never actually existed, to properties, of his, that didn’t exist. He had been conned.

Trying so hard to be resilient, he managed to stay afloat got hitched and started a family.

Unfortunately for him, once people are used to handout there is no way out. (it is almost like joining the mafia, once in, no out) Everyone still expected him to fend for them, still looking upon him as the sole bread winner. No one really cared about his wellbeing. Our dog-eat-dog world.

He eventually gave up and gave in to alcohol or rather alcoholism as an escape.

To date alcohol is the only thing that understands him or should I say they understand each other. Such sad affairs!

So anyway, he drinks it for breakfast, lunch, supper, and any other meal needed until he hits the ground. No one knows for sure how long he will keep like this. But we can tell where it is headed.

So question for today…

Actually, there too many questions to ask it is confusing, disturbing, and quite frankly upsetting what we do to people as a society. Leaves a lot to be desired. It stinks.

Let us instead find out what I would like us to learn from this.

Look after yourself.

Look after your overall wellbeing, mental, physical and spiritual. I say this over and over again, you cannot look after others if you cannot look after yourself. You need to put your gas mask on first before helping even your own child. The reason being, if you haven’t established it yet, you are no good to anyone if you don’t look after yourself, not to you, not to your friends neither are you any good to your family.

  • Eat well, exercise, and meditate.
  • Learn to say NO. Don’t let people rush you to an early grave.
  • Pray for serenity. Know the difference of things you can change and those you just can’t. Call it attaining wisdom.
  • Find your tribe. Surrounding yourself with people who build you. People who want the best in you, those are your tribe. You are as good as the company you keep. After all birds of a feather flock together. Friends are the family we gift our self.
  • Forgive yourself. The one important think I learnt in my life is forgiving myself. It changed my life. I used to be so hard on myself on just about anything. Say for instance, if something is in your nature, say kindness and people taking advantage of that, forgive yourself for that, it unburdens you an helps you figure out how to manoeuvre around who you are and who you can be.
  • Let us learn to love one another.  That was we would never put anyone in a tight situation that whence destroys them.

The above story is from a close contact needing help.

What we see here is that Fred should forgive himself then he will be able to forgive those who wronged him to move forward. It shouldn’t have gotten this far but yet it did. Once he does that, he will know he deserves much better. He will know to seek professional help, all will be clear to him.

And, it is never too late to start all over again, it is only sad never to try.

If you have any questions I am more than happy to answer them. Otherwise leave a comment and share the blog it could help someone somewhere.

 

Goodluck.

 

Nicolle Hanselmann.

 

©nicollehanselmann 2020

Same Script, Different Cast- Forgiveness

Writer’s Block.

Writer's Block
My first writer’s block experience.

I couldn’t help but imagine how a well established writers feel when they hit the dreaded writer’s block. They do have a lot of things riding on it, their reputation, their earnings, passion, hobby, the list goes on n on…

I have been writing a 4-part series of the plight of the diaspora in relation to being conned or misused by people they trusted.  Mainly focusing on the things that we could learn. This is the fourth part or a semblance of one.

Here is the deal, I have some sort of writers block, yeah sort of. I would say that I fit the bill above but in my own league I did hit a block, of some sort.

You may have gathered by now that the story of the African diaspora can be summed as a case of “same script, different cast

It is all in the semantics.

The stories are there indeed. Some totally heartbreaking.

For the diasporas opening up to me, it is more like rather feels like,

“Nicolle, been-there-done-that, next”

( If you have not caught up here is the link

https://andreas-denz.com/2020/11/05/3745/       )

Wisdom warns us that experience should never be the only teacher, other people’s experiences should be good enough for us too.

Imagine for a moment, that you leave your support system for pastures greener than green.

You add bits and bobs to your life, spruce it up, spice it up, and sooner than later you are the rescue dog for the whole your community that you left behind.

You miss the company, the laughs, the ‘firsts’, the winding up, weddings, funerals, but life is about sacrifice right? Do the uncomfortable to gain the comfortable, they say.

The Three G’s

So, you learn to grit, grind, and to believe in grace. Triple G it.

But the people you do all these for, forget to perceive you as human being let alone family.

You are their cash cow, only they didn’t buy the cow.

They milk you dry, and some more.

So here is the other deal, rather than share more gruesome stories, just know whatever you think is so bad to do to family (even friends) has been done before.

Whatever you can imagine, has happened, after all their is nothing new under the sun. We can only pray that there will be a change of heart and this trend stops.

Diaspora or not, family or not, let us be mindful of other people’s mental wellbeing.

We are responsible of our own actions and that is what we are accountable for.

Love makes all things right and if we truly learn to love ourselves, we will love others and only good come out of that.

So today I will emphasis on boundaries and setting them.

“The way in which a person uses their true goodness is just like the way that trees are destroyed by the axe. Cut down day after day, how can the mind, any more than the tree, retain its beauty or continue to live”-Menciuos, 4th century, BC.

Establish boundaries and watch people naturally respect you. That is how we human beings are like. When someone is clear on the things that we can not get away withthen they earn our respect. Draw the line, a bold one, let people know things they can and can’t do to you.

The things are done to us only happen with our permission.

If at all you find yourself placing reasonable boundaries and, values that they can’t respect that, then maybe it is just about time to re-evaluate what benefit you get from that particular relationship.

Ask yourself.

  • Is it draining my energy?
  • Is it bringing you joy?

Do ask yourself such important questions to work out what needs to stay and what needs to leave.

“No one can make you inferior without your consent” Eleanor Roosevelt

In the same way no one can make you inferior, is the same way no one can take advantage of you without your permission, they might fool you once but twice??? Mmmh!

Here are some steps to follow before things get out of hand.

4 ways to stop being taken advantage of gracefully.

  • Inform– Inform the person of their actions that you would like for them to stop.  They might not even be aware of the harm they cause or of their behaviour so it is a fair chance.
  • Request–  Ask them to stop, at this point any sound person should know better. Though we don’t cease to surprise.
  • Demand–  If the above didn’t work then at this point insist on wanting them to stop and let them know of what actions you will take if they didn’t
  • Action–  To ensure that they know that they were not just issuing empty threats, do take action. Whatever you said you would do this is the point where you exercise it.

For a practical example, this could concern anyone not just the diaspora, toavoid distressor future drama.

If someone keeps on asking you for let’s say money, even though they may know your situation very well.

“ Oh I know you don’t have any cash right now, but if you get a little extra money please send me some.”

This could make you feel like they don’t believe you in the first place.

But again, We know sometimes how some people get, you confide to them about your situation but they always manage to still ask.

Informthem that you don’t appreciate the pressure they are putting on you especially when they know your current financial struggle.

If they continue, like some would, requestthem to stop.

“Can you please stop asking me for money as it is putting pressure in our relationship”

“I insistthat you stop asking me for money or else I will have to end this relationship, it is already draining me.

If they persist just end it. They are not after your overall well being. They don’t care about you.

 

©nicollehanselmann 2020

Photo by Ivan Samkovfrom Pexels

Article first shared at https://andreas-denz.com/2020/11/19/same-script-different-cast/

 

Establish Your Relationship Priorities-Ubuntu

Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with a cold.

-Andre Maurois

I sat there in awe, listening attentively as Faith told her story with such bravery.

(I must confess, I have this habit of wanting to help my friends, it is just a thing. I had to ask my mentor whether it was normal thing. He then told me that he also helps anyone that needs it regardless of their relationship. At first, I used to be that person that dishes out advice without even asking permission, then I learnt to respect boundaries and the friendship first. We come along way, don’t we? In coaching it is best too leave family and friends out)

“I got to her house after years of missing her so much, my sister, my best friend.

Smiles.

She knew how much I loved her, I thought I knew how much she loved me too. To me, sisters love and care for each other. Period.

My best friend had a newly furnished modern house, she had never worked, her husband didn’t work either, not for years and yet they had kids and lived a lavish lifestyle. I wasn’t jealous, I don’t think I was, but I came to a realisation. Sighs!

I pictured my life as a diaspora and that is when it hit me. I silently cried so much that night in her house. After that something within my core instantly changed.

You see back then I lived a modest life. I had sacrificed so much including pursuing my education for others. I lived on just the basics, literally bare necessities. Never went anywhere. After years of saving and loans I decided to give my family a big beautiful surprise visit. Only the surprise was on me’’ She then laughed.

I watched her keenly observing all her movements, trying to pick all those subtle messages from her body language. I would conclude that she looked like someone who was at peace with her current life, and herself. I guess what I was observing is whether she harbours any negativity or resentment of some sorts.

Faith like many others had heard about my video on how I got fleeced and so she decided to share her own story. Like cliche would have it, this was not her only rodeo, she had also been conned severally trying to purchase properties back in her home town. Not todays story.

“My understanding is that my best friend decided against going to University as she had wanted, she instead had decided to take the easy life of relying on my handouts.

As I was on holiday I decided to let it go. So what hurt me the most was whilst I stayed at hers, I paid for everything including the food and all the transports to the places we visited for the whole family plus more. Money was running out fast and she knew.

That was still ok, we were having fun. One fine day we argued over something so petty that escalated so fast, from 0 to 100 in seconds. She proceeded to shouted at me in front of her kids like I was a nobody, past wrongs got mentioned, she was carrying so much bitterness in her, and at no point was she remorseful for what she had done to me, too cut the long story short I have never received any apologies from her for my wasted cash. Am I waiting?

No! I decided to look after myself and always think of me and my needs first. Helping is good but not if detrimental.

My obsession isn’t just to share painful stories from amazing people but to learn from them.

Have you heard people joke about how families would be perfect without any other members? It is easy to joke about it especially when they are driving you crazy and you are only trying to use humour to cope.

We need each other. Ubuntu- I am because we are.

Most precious and memorable moments come from being around people we love, however annoying they might be at times.

Love is the greatest gift of all, it gives us all the bittersweet challenges.

“Love is of God”

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Create a relationship with yourself.

The only constant in all your relationships, the once you have and ever will have is,YOU.In all those arguments, fleecing whatnots with friends, with families, workmates, the only repetitive thing is your presence in them. YOU. Hard to accept right?

That is why it is very important to work on yourself. No-one else will always be there for you but yourself, even your children will grow up and your relationship with them will change. Everything changes expect change itself.

Build yourself esteem. When you love and respect yourself enough, and when you have self-confidence, then you will have boundaries put in place that people will respect and honour. Learn to feel secure in your place in the world, how you interact with the world, how you face challenges even in the toughest of times.

  • Live a conscious life-Beware that your thoughts affect your surroundings. They affect how you interact with others and can influence how people treat you. Live a healthy life, your health is your wealth.
  • Work on self-development-Develop your self-acceptance, self-responsibility, and self-assertiveness. Understand you will experience setbacks and that is okay, forgive yourself, be accountable of your own actions, express yourself effectively. No-one has control over other people’s actions.
  • Understand your values and live in alignment with them-Your values affect your choice of work, your home life and relationships you keep.
  • Nurture family boundsStop blaming others for ruining your day or your life. Devise strategies to defuse disagreements and conflicts. Set firm boundaries they will love you more not less.

Remember:

  • When we sacrifice to give to others then what we are in fact doing is telling the universe we don’t have enough. You are sending the wrong message, a message of lack.
  • It can be extremely difficult to attract the success we seek without friends and family, if you don’t have any go out and create your own, go and find your people.
  • The more successful we become the more help we need.
  • It is ok to end toxic hopeless relationships that drain you.

 

 

©nicollehanselmann 2020

Photo by mentatdgtfrom Pexels

Article first posted at http://www.andreas-denz.com

How to Create Your Reality Using Your Personalty-Mental Wellness

Some articles are worth sharing again. This one was first shared at http://www.adreas-denz.com

How to Create Your Reality Using Your Personality-Mental Health

 

Mental health awareness
We sometimes choose to bear tough times on our own but is it the right option?

 

Today, let us learn some basic tools that will change your life.

It doesn’t take a genius to establish that I am big on mental health. Your health is your number one wealth.

 

My question for you, Ever wondered why we don’t hear a lot of the “big public figures” opening up about their struggles unless they have ‘beaten it’? 

Stigma

That is problem. 

Not so long ago we heard Prince Harry opening up to the world, about his own struggles that were related very closely to losing his mum as a little boy. 

 

You may also remember the news about the comedian who took his own life? A person who cracked people’s ribs moreso mine. 

Our Robin Williams was a legend, incidentally, he could make everyone else laugh but himself.

 

The other extreme example I will give is of Carol Flack, absolutely shocking.

Carol had the most beautiful laugh, and beautiful clothes, she was a stunner, hosted amazing shows but had skeletons in the cupboard, hidden right in front of our screens.

 

Now keep that thought with you for a moment, we have mentioned a comedian, the Prince, actors… we also have doctors too. The point is, anyone is susceptible to a breakdown but the judgement and stigma is the problem until it is too late.

Many people continue to fight a good fight. Albeit behind closed curtains, we only get to know of it when it has come to pass.

 

We are currently digesting the “hottest news” about Megan, Duchess of Sussex, who opened up to the public about her miscarriage. What a brave and courageous act. Miscarriages are linked to couples mental health and the sustainability of the relationship. A lot of couples go through such a tough time in silence and have to pretend to be ok or it never occurred. One possible by-product is depression.

 

What I am saying? I simply wish that we lived in a world where anyone could be vocal about their struggles regardless of their status, or lack of it thereof, without prejudice.  

A lot of us would relate to the struggles and hence say things like,

“Wow! If the president shared their mental struggle then who am I to hide mine, why should I struggling on my own?”

Resilience…

 

Jada P. Smith mentioned at some point how she believed the key to happiness is to create emotional independence ( emotional strength, or resilience as some may call it) in the face of tough situations. She had learned how to work through some difficult emotions without needing to talk to a friend or speak to her husband or even get advice from outside sources.

For me, this is a struggle very close to my heart and I can relate to it totally. I fully empathise with anyone going through that right now.

 

At one point in my life I became so strong that I never needed anyone.

 

Back in 2010 thereabouts, a lot of tough lessons got thrown my way. By the time I made it to my GP for help, it was almost too late. She immediately gave me 6 weeks off work, with a possible extension.

In her words “I have never seen someone cry this much, you have been through so much”

I got the time off work in the grounds of ‘low moods and high stress’ (as that was all I asked to be  written on my work letter)

I was one step from depression, a place that is so hard to come out of once one gets in.

 

Those 6 weeks that were given to me, were based on my personal preference of not choosing the medications way. I also promised to get myself better, ASAP. My GP really wanted to do more, but was hopeless, she had to respect my wishes as her patient. She then recommended some suitable meet-up groups of similar interests and other alternatives.

(By the way, It important to know that it is ok to need medications. We all have different capacities of handling stuffs. Please listen to your doctor)

 

Friends and family…

As a self-professed resilient person, people expected so much from me. I remember when I went to deliver the news to my boss and my co-workers’ initial reaction was to laugh it off. Most of them automatically assumed that I must be taking some sort of advantage of some sorts, and/or maybe just making a mountain out of a mole hill.

So much for work banters that dig deep.

Anyway, I can gladly say that I now know better and that is in the past now.

 

I genuinely believe, there is nothing weak or wrong about talking through a difficult situation with friends/family, life coaches, and/or therapists.

In fact, it is something that should highly be encouraged. Though there may be a limit to how much you should rely on friends and family. Only because, as much as they mean well, and want the best for you, they may lack professional training and tools or ability to help. 

Hence best to reach out to the professionals. Whatever you do, the most important thing is not to go it alone when facing a difficult emotional situation or loss.

 

Mental Agility

Here are some tools that could help. They will help you develop your mental agility.

But remember this is not substitute for professional advice.

 

1.Meditate

Joe Dispenza’s basic tools that could change your life:

  • When you invest in yourself you invest in your future.
  • Take sometime out of your busy life to disconnect from your world, turn your gadgets off, sit your body down for a few minutes, close your eyes.
  • Take some breathe to centre yourself. When you centre your intention into present moment you have more energy to create your future. When you are the present moment you become more creative.
  • Ask yourself, Can I be defined by the envisions of the future instead the memory of the past?  What do I want in my life? 
  • When you begin to think about the answers to the questions you are changing your brain. Creating new patterns and new combinations which is the beginning steps to changing your life
  • Define on the emotions you feel when you begin to create your future. Teach your body emotionally what that future will be like, and don’t get up until you feel those emotions. 
  • Rehearse in your mind, who you will be when u open your eyes. Repeat them over and over again. Things you will have to do, the choices you have to make, the steps you have to make…
  • You can’t go to the future holding on to the biology of your past. Decide what thoughts you want to take (or not take ) with you to the future.  Leave thoughts like “I can’t” “ I will never change”
  • Decide what emotions don’t belong to you. Decide on the emotions you want to take with you to the future. You can’t take emotions like insecurities and fearinto the future.
  • Your personality creates your personal reality and your personality begins with how think how you act and how you feel.

2. Eat well and exercise. Simply put, we are what we eat.

3. Seek help.  It is ok not to be okay. Talk to friends and visit a professional.

4. Have something to look forward to everyday.

5. Surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy, including people.

Remember we are here when you need someone to talk to. Check our other articles on mental wellbeing.

©Nicolle Hanselmann 2020

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

 

Emotional Exhaustion During the Pandemic

Things can get a little overwhelming after a while. (Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels)

Pandemic Induced Emotional Exhaustion.

I embrace my humanly emotions as a way of coping with all things… human. Taught and practiced self-forgiveness and totally simplified my life. Not so long ago, somethings would stress me up, grrrr! then I would get stressed for being stressed, you get the drift? Yeah! that vicious cycle from hell!

We are living in a time like no other, even the best of the best, the “Zen guys” are beginning to crack. So I suppose it is ok to feel like you are about to lose it.

When it hit me that we are having yet another lockdown, our third…seriously!…

…all I could do, to cope, was have an early lie down.

I went to my bedroom, hopelessly tried my bedtime routine and luckily slept really well.

What is Emotional Exhaustion?

Emotional exhaustion is a state of feeling emotionally worn-out and drained as a result of accumulated stress from your personal or work life, or a combination of both. Emotional exhaustion is one of the signs of burnout.

What are the 5 signs of stress?

(Photo by Alex Green from Pexels)

There are some psychological and emotional signs of stress e.g. 

 

  • Depression or anxiety.
  • Anger, irritability, or restlessness.
  • Feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, or unfocused.
  • Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much.
  • Racing thoughts or constant worry.
  • Problems with your memory or concentration.
  • Making bad decisions.

(Oh! Oh! Anyone?)

It is paramount to look after oneself, more so now, than ever before.

People will let you down, your government will let you down, your practitioner may not have all the answers you seek, just play your part.

Research says that 50% of our happiness comes from our perspective, how openminded we are, how resilient we are and our general outlook on life.

In as much as we inherit a lot of our attitude, thanks genes, we still have control and can change them.

Managing your emotions:

1. Take a piece of paper and write down as many positive emotions as you can think of.

2. Close your eyes and recapture pleasant emotions you have had and relive them.

3. Then, be aware of your emotions throughout your day. Catch yourself when you are having a negative moment and replace it with a good thought.

With daily practice it becomes second nature. Don’t stop trying.

Chemicals in our bodies

Emotions release chemicals in our bodies which affect our physical state. We need  hormones like serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins that promote feelings like pleasure, happiness and even love.

1. Think about positive affirmations, go ahead and even shout them off a rooftop for all we care. I wish I could join.

2. Act and make believe. When your body is getting all tensed up, emulate things you would do when you are happy e.g good posture like walking tall etc

3. Play music that makes you happy. Always have a playlist that works like magic. Abracadabra! 

4. Go for a walk or a jog, this is natures way of releasing the right chemicals to re-establish equilibrium.

Mental Resilience

(Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels)

1. It is ok not to be okay, ask for help, find professional support.

2. Focus on your priorities, your life purpose, vision and goals.

3. Form good habits like scheduling activities that build your mental and emotional wellbeing, just like a muscle it needs to be trained.

4. Take time to spoil yourself and reconnect with yourself.

Lastly, congratulations for reading this, it means you are looking after yourself. 

Remember

1. Mental wellness is not a one blog read and this is not substitute for professional advice.

2. Ubuntu, I am because You are.

 

I would like to hear from, you can also grab my free eBook https://nicollehanselmann.com/product/free-ebook-unscratched-not/ it dives into how we can thrive during difficult times.

More on practical ways on how to develop a resilient mind.

 

©Nicolle Hanselmann 2021

 

Resources

http://www.healthline.com

http://www.webmd.com

Secret to Happiness

Secret to Happiness

It is not easy to articulate what happiness really is, but we do have a rough idea of things that truly make us happy.

Read this article, the secret to happiness lies in knowing oneself.

It was previously shared on our sister website which deals with all areas of our holistic life;

https://andreas-denz.com/2020/10/21/the-secret-to-happiness-lies-in-knowing-oneself/

The Secret to Happiness Lies in Knowing Oneself.

But how can we achieve that?

How comes a lot us are unhappier than ever?

 

If there is one thing I can tell you for sure, in regards to your happiness, is that you have complete control over it. Full and total control. I know, right?

Well it is this simple. If you have any underlying needs that haven’t been met, those deepest personal and emotional needs, you will be unhappy.

 “Success is not the path to happiness.

Happiness is the path to success”

 

How can you tell there is a problem?  

                                                                                                                                                                                 Incidentally, most of us don’t even know our top 5 personal, and emotional needs.

And, most of us are also too embarrassed or reluctant to ask for our needs to be met by our spouses, children, or others.

I love my cuddles, just saying 🙂

The good news is that, we can easily identify our needs with modern technology, just take an emotional (or personal) index test and identify your needs. After all it is a lot easier to deal with something you recognise and know of, right?

Let us put it this way, it is almost impossible to be your best self with unsatisfied needs, hence the importance of identifying them and working on them.

For instance, some people love being around family, all the time, and that is what makes them tick, some not quite they do fancy occasional “me-time’.

We all have different needs and that is what makes us special.

Unmet Needs…

Unfortunately for us, unmet needs tend to manifest as frustrations, depression, irritability plus a lot of other unpleasant and unattractive qualities no one likes in us.

Honestly, if you still keeping up with the Joneses’ Sigh* then it is an indicator that something is quite sadly wrong. It is also a true way to self-destruction.

Just look around you, all your genuinely happy friends have attractive smiles and seem to attract everything and anything they wish for in their lives.

6 Secrets for being happy

Below, are some amazing ideas that could help, even if you are yet to discover your needs.

The recommendation is suitable for dealing with both the known and unknown needs:

  • Meditate:Discover and try out any form of meditation that works for you, otherwise even just taking 10min a day to quieten your mind works a miracle. Use meditation to control your impulses, reduce anger and enhance self-awareness.
  • Be a giver: Give you time, advice, information, and/or lend someone your ear, just give whatever you have. There is always something to offer. When we give it takes the attention off ourselves we then attract even more towards us.
  • Be grateful: Have “rituals” that remind you to be grateful throughout the day.         Nice tip is having a pebble in your pocket, every time you dig into your pocket and touch it, remember that you are alive and that is enough reason to be grateful.”Thank You”
  • Forgive and forget: There is power in letting go of things that could cause you harm more than they would the perpetrator. It lightens the burden and frees the mind.
  • Let your hair down: Do the things that remind you how alive you are, watch stuffs that make you laugh, dance to those upbeat tunes…Just live.                                              Have something to look forward to every day. There is no rehearsals in this life, this is it.
  • Know When to Say No and When to Say Yes: Anything negative you tolerate in your life drains you, be it your energy, or your finances etc.                                                This is one area we all fail ourselves, big time. We should replace them (the negative) with things that bring us joy. Yes! to more cuddles, no to gossips.                                                                             Yes! to adventure, no to idling. Not easy but can be learnt.

The list above is just but a starting point.

Feel free to ask for more.

Remember, looking after yourself makes you more attractive and authentically happy, you will end up attracting better opportunities with far less effort.

People will just love being around you.

Ask your friends and family for help whenever possible, allow them to help you meet some of your needs.

Do not bury your head in the sand and hope people will just magically know what you want and how you want them.

Tell them, be in charge, it feels great too.

Goodluck.

 

PS: Do let me know how it goes I promise to read all of your comments and reply and if you would like more recommendations feel free to email me.

 

©NicolleHanselmann 2020

Photo credit pexels-ketut-subiyanto pexels.com

Article originally shared on https://andreas-denz.com/2020/10/21/the-secret-to-happiness-lies-in-knowing-oneself/