Financial Ground Rules That Will Change Your life.


Budget yourself to financial independence.


  • Find out what is money to you 
  • Guidelines to being financially healthy
  • 7 steps to being financially free

Black Friday (hooray) is here and we are all super excited, right?

Some amazing offers online especially now with the lockdown and festive season coming what else could we ask for.

Money is power: so said one.

Money is a cushion: so said another.

Money is the root of evil: so said still another.

Money means freedom: so runs old saying.

And money is all of these- and more.

Money pays for whatever you want- if you have the money.

Money buys everything except love, personality, freedom. Immortality, silence, peace.

– Carl Sandburg

✅ Do you know the difference between money and wealth?

✅ Have you defined the role of money in your life?

✅ Do you feel financially secure?

I really hope this doesn’t come as a surprise but money and wealth are not entirely the same thing.


Your relationship with money defines how content you are in life.

If you are like most of people, then you probably also in the group that is fighting for different sameness. In this group it is all about working to earn money.

The irony of it all is that we have the same number of hours as Beyonce but yet what she earns in her 24 hours is totally different from what most of us do.

Today let us learn about Money, Wealth and Us.

Understanding money, wealth and our relationship with it can be a little complicated as it special like our fingerprints. How we react and handle money is more psychological than anything else, ut the good news is that even a negative relationship can be flipped.

My hope is that you have discovered by now that money and happiness are not correlated. Research has shown as time and time again that money doesn’t necessarily account for ones happiness. A research that was done with lottery winners documents that they reported profound unhappiness if that doesn’t speak volumes I really don’t know what does.

So, anyway, is money bad? 

To answer that, reflect on these questions;

  • Have you defined the role of money in your own life?
  • Is your money for acquiring basic needs and essential items in your life?
  • Or is it for pleasurable desires? Or is it for status? Ego?

Comparing yourself to others…

The most definite way to make yourself unhappy is by comparing yourselves to your peers.

In this world of gadgets and fast internet it is almost impossible not to wonder how ‘the other half lives,’ but this is deterimental to our financial wellbeing.

Once you nail contentment, then you know to trust your journey and believe in our own true desires.

( By the way, have you ever thought of how funny it is that your peers are also probably comparing themselves to you?)

This Black Friday will have a lot of us spending money we don’t have for things we don’t need and for people we don’t like.

Stick to the plan and have financial ground rules, here are some tips and steps to take.


Guidelines to being financially healthy;

  • Be honest with yourself:

Lie to everyone if you have to but never to yourself. You are the only one who is really accountable for your actions and the one who has to face the consequences.

Get out of the denial, it will get you stuck.

If you have a problem accept and you will be on your way to recovery.

  • Work out your budget:

The more we earn the more we adjust to our new expensive lifestyle. Sometimes without even realising it, we find ways to justify our spendings. You must have heard people say, “Money is never enough” 

What we actually need to do is have a budget and live by it. Religiously save for emergencies, which other hand should have been catered for. Once you know what money means to you and are honest with yourself then this becomes very easy.

To simplify the math your outgoings should not exceed your incomings. Spend less than you earn with a budget.

Martin Lewis of money saving expert has a mantra…

If you are not skint…

Is it  worth it?
Have you checked the prices elsewhere?

If the answer is no… DON’T BUY IT! 

If you are skint…

Do I need it?

Can I afford it?

Have I checked the prices elsewhere?

If the answer is no, DON’T BUY IT!

  • Pay yourself first.

(A very tricky one if we are being honest here)

This is what sets the rich from the poor apart.

Do aim to save 10% of your income by paying yourself first. Trust me, it takes a lot of practice to remember that you come before your creditors and bills. Like everything else , practice makes perfect.

Once you nail it then you are on your way to financial freedom.

What are the steps to financial freedom and financial independence? 

You are financially free and independent when you have consistent passive incomings than outgoings, simple and clear.

7 Steps to Financial Freedom

1. Set up automatic savings.

You need to make the switch from being a spender to a saver.

Do this by setting up automatic savings from your pay before it gets to your pocket.

Adjusting spending when you see that you don’t have any money left in your account will not cut to the chase.

It just never works. Saving what’s left over at the end of the month is game of cat and mouse. 

Just pay yourself first, pay your creditors/bills after and now you can Black Friday the leftover.

2. Debt Snowball

Coined by Dave Ramsey, this method lists all your debts from smallest balance to biggest balance. Then pay them off from smallest in that order. The idea has a psychological benefit making it achievable for many.

There is also Debt Avalanche Method is for those who want to get out of debt faster. 

With this, first pay off the debts with highest interest rate, get that out of the way, then to your lowest interest rate.

Of course you shouldn’t forget that you’ll have to make the minimum payment on all your other debts, but apply any extra money to the debt that is costing you the most.

Negotiate, as often as you can, with the credit card company for the lowest possible rate and consider getting a debt consolidation loan to reduce your interest rate.

 3. Boost your emergency fund.

If there is anything 2020 has taught us is that we need to have an emergency fund in place.

(Have we learnt anything in these unprecedented times?)

Anyway, to be clear emergency fund’s goal is to help you reach financial freedom by having three (preferably six months) of living expenses in a savings.

Just a perfect cushion for those unexpected shocks such as losing your job (read COVID-19) or having an illness or injury.

You want to make sure you can cover your rent/mortgage and basic living expenses until your insurance takes over.

In the special case of having dependents or a family to look after, are self-employed etc you might want to increase that emergency fund to one to two years of living expenses.

4. Increase your savings.

Now that your high interest rate debts paid off (mortgage not considered as debt in this case) you can afford to level up your retirement savings.

Redirect all debt payoff monies towards your financial freedom and retirement pot. 

There several books on savings.

A book a found so useful was “ The secret language of money” by David Kruger

I like the whole psychology behind our relationship with money hence our behaviour around it.

David says we say money talks but what does it say? It says whatever you tell it to.

5. Use compounding interest to your advantage.

Talane Maedaner says her blog, “A key fact to keep in mind: at a 7% rate of return (the average rate of return you are likely to get in a 60/40 stock/bond balanced fund over time), your money will double about every 10 years, even if you don’t add any extra money – the incredible power of compound interest! Obviously, you want to maximize the number of doublings and the easiest way to do that is to get a decent chunk (think $50K to $100K) invested as soon as possible – before you turn 30 ideally”

6. Increase your income.

Have you noticed how quickly we have all moved the virtual world?

Start an online sideline gig or hobby, make it futuristic and robust.

Invest in trainings or skills a lot now are available online for free.

And the last step…

7. Pay off the mortgage and save for education.

Once all high interest rates debts are done all is left is for the mortgage to be paid of and the children’s future educations savings.



Remember, knowledge is power, invest in yourself. The books below wi transform your life give it a shot.



©nicollehanselmann 2020

References and recommendations;

Black Friday 25% off click to get the offers.



Dave Ramsey America’s trusted voice on money.

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A Butterfly Landed On Your Shoulder.

What do they say about a butterfly landing on your right shoulder?

Time To Surrender

Imagine feeling that warmth of the day on your face, the sound of the breeze relaxing you to submission.

You inhale and exhale steadily. Your eyes then shut.

After several minutes of being in heaven, albeit on earth, you open your eyes.

Your body feels lighter, rejuvenated, the unwinding worked.

A feeling of wanting to stretch and flex your neck ensues, but before you do, you look over to your right shoulder and notice this beautiful butterfly, upper side white with purple band, resting on it.

What do they say about a butterfly landing on your right shoulder? 

Anyway, in a panic, not wanting to lose sight of it, you stretch your palms to catch it, but instead you startle it, it flies away to the post by you.

Not the reaction you expected, right?

You try again, it flies to the next, not accepting defeat, you now decide to turn it into a battle, your fierce desire to catch it keeps sending the butterfly away. Chase, fly. Chase, fly…

A feeling of rejection is not so far of.

Sooner than later you realise you will not win. It is a losing battle.Mmh! mmh!

You decide to SURRENDER. YOU STOP!

You sit back, go back to relaxing, and close your eyes once again acknowledging the beauty of your surrounding.

The butterfly comes back on your right shoulder, yet again.

This time round, you are wiser.

You later come to learn that the right shoulder signifies strength. You reflect on this for a moment, and your life changes for the better.

When we want something so desperately we sometimes put out negative energy pursuing it.No one likes a desperate person anyway.

We transmit the energy of lack, the energy of not believing and trusting in The Universe ( Insert what you believe in).

We work so tirelessly and end up achieving the opposite, we end up pushing away our goals, our dreams, our desires etc

Does that sound familiar? We call it being busy.

How about just surrendering to your all knowing Source?

This means that you really, have to let go energetically. 

Let Go, Let God. 

Let go of the small things, don’t sweat it.

As we coming to Christmas, allow me to share some tips on enjoying this season that some of us manage to turn it into stress and mayhem. 

We worry about what presents our friends would like?

How much to spend this year after all we’ve had Covid-19, right?

Can food ever be too much? Will it be too little?

Will my hosting be better than Aunt Susan’s?

Smoke! Smoke! Fire! Fire! Panic button.

You know how you get.

Eliminate the worries.

10 Steps to Staying Happier This Season.

~Joy filtering

This is something that was coined by Marie Kondo on decluttering.  In her fundamental of tidying, she taught a procedure of testing whether we like things through a concept called joy filtering. 

This is how it works, what you ought to do is check items, each item in your life, things you own, by placing them next to you, if it brings you joy then you keep it, if not you get rid of it, nicely. It is so easy and can be applied in other areas of our lives.

So this season if you get invited to a party ask yourself “Will this add joy to my life?” If not, decline. 

You don’t have to go to every single holiday party you are invited to. Sounds like a crime to me if you asked me, especially if it makes you miserable. I do hope you already learnt how to say ’NO’ and the importance of it too.

So, stop sending holiday cards unless you love to do it and can afford to. If it brings you joy and you can’t afford it, then make the cards and gifts yourself. This even makes it more personal putting in such a personal touch. Try and pick just ten people who are special to you and send it to them. Yeah! You read that right.

Surrender, do not chase on things that do not bring you joy.

~Forgive and make amends. 

This year has been dramatic, but it doesn’t have to stay like that. We need 2021 to be our best year yet.

If someone did something that hurt you, now is the time to call and forgive them. 

There is a whole article on how to go about it in our blog.

Surrender, do not carry the burden of an unforgiving heart, you can’t take poison and hoping the other person dies, can you? Energy needs to flow, a burdened heart blocks it.

Love yourself enough to bear a forgiving heart.

~Get the whole family involved. 

The holiday preparations can be exhausting and a burden if you are doing everything by yourself, but lots of fun when everyone pitches in, give them a chance. Have everyone bring in something during the holiday season, a dish or drinks every little helps. Surrender, we all need help, it is ok.

~There is joy in giving.

Remember love is the greatest gift of all and you can’t love without giving, also remember give and it will come back to you.

Do a good deed for someone else, with your time, talents, money, knowledge whatever it is you have will do.

…brighten someone’s day!


~Simplify gift giving. 

In this era, a lot of people are quite understanding, so relax do not stress out. It is all in your head.

As they say, it is the thought that counts.

In fact, anyone who demands more from you needs to be checked, are they friend or foe? Do they bring you joy? Check point one above for reference.

~Take some ‘Me-time’

Many people get depressed during the holidays plus after having such a dramatic year. Oh boy! 2020 where do we start..

This holiday season, just make sure that every single day you have something to look forward to, no one mentioned big and expensive, coz it doesn’t have to be. It can simply be a hot bubble bath, I hope bath salts are not too expensive wherever you are.

~Keep a positive perspective. 

Just remember the bottomline is to have fun, it is not a competition either, so go with the flow. Relax.

Be grateful for all things.

Burnt turkey anyone?

~Redefine your holiday tradition(s). 

Only ask the important people in your life what their three most important things are that make the holiday special, then focus on those.

Your life, your rules. Your life is your party, live it your way in your own terms.

We have survived very unprecedented times, so are and should be open to examining and re-evaluating some of our traditions. We must admit that some are outrageous at time. ( If you are finding difficulty in changing due to beliefs read more on

~Save for the holidays.

It might be a little too late now for this year, but you can start saving early for next holiday season. 

A penny saved is a penny earned.

~Hire some help.

You don’t have to know everything neither do you have to do everything. So it is ok to need, and hire some help… or even keep them who cares.


  • It is all about allowing not forcing.
  • Energy needs to flow or else it stagnates.
  • If it was meant to be it will be.
  • If it is in alignment with your purpose it will find it’s way back.
  • Surrendering is trusting The Universe and all things ‘shall be added into you’

Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you, rather than against you.-Eckhart Tolle.

Your faith in The Universe must be stronger than everything else.

If you like this blog you will like this one too


©nicollehanselmann 2020

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What If

Ugly, crucible, struggles, trauma= Strength, resilience, values.

Illness, self-doubt, rough childhood= Wisdom, good judgement, compassion.

I sometimes reflect on my rough childhood and appreciate it a lot. The only pickle is when I want to share my story without coming across as hurting. Our stories build us. I am grateful for mine.

Just to let you know that I don’t harbour any hate, resentment, or grudge whatsoever. I also forgive and have forgiven myself, I forgive everything and everyone for my childhood. I chose not to ever jump in the blaming people and things pool. I couldn’t be happier.

Time past and time future.

What might have been and what has been.

Point to one end, which is always present.

T.S Eliot

Contrary to some beliefs, where I come from going to boarding school does not always necessarily mean prestige, mine was for survival purposes. It sort of worked out that way. I went to boarding school when I was about 11-12years old thereabouts. I did enjoy it and finished my primary years there.

Good ol’ days!

I performed well but incidentally, there was no money for my transitioning to high school. There was no fees and hence circumstances forced me to repeat the same class acting upon my uncles suggestion. 

Good ol’ days!

He organised a day school for me to attend. 

It was the unmade bed of schools.

There I was, in a class full of pupils much younger than me, better than the odds of being at home, right? I lived with the fore-mentioned uncle, who wasn’t that badly off, with his family at the time, it was a few miles from the school which required daily commute to and fro. Quite a walk in a generally wet climate.

Good ol’ days!

Time went by, made some friends… But as “times were hard,” I couldn’t afford a lot of things especially a pair of new shoes. 

I wore the same canvas shoes for such a long time my feet were literally on the ground. They were pale and completely torn. Then, came this fine day, the sun was out, some of the girls decided to sit outside on the grass in front of our classroom as the boys cleaned it, it was their turn. 

One of the cheeky boys, Kevin, can never forget his name, pulled out a shoe that had been stuck in the mud for the longest, waved it in the air jumping “I found Nicolle’s shoe” He had not seen me with the group of girls, he looked to my side, our eyes locked, he threw the shoe away and ran to the back of the building laughing like crazy as everyone joined him in the laughter. The commotion drew a crowd.

It felt so bad. We still had to go back in the classroom for the rest of the day, some still giggling.

Time went by like it never happened. One day my mum came to visit me over at my uncles and the tears in her eyes spoke enough. She had come from a 7 hour journey just to see me not knowing what was going on. With her little money she went and bought me some new pair of canvas. Seeing your mum cry like that isn’t easy for any child to witness. To me she was a hardworking strong lady, she remains that to me, though I have to admit that image never left me. She wondered why no-one had told her anything. I knew why. I was never allowed to.

Anyway, looking back now I see how values get developed. They stem from somewhere though they do change from time to time. One of my core values is compassion. I hate seeing children lack and suffer, it tears me down. So if I can empower just one adult to make the most of their lives so that their kids have a better life, that is good enough for me to live by.

I would like to encourage you today to know your whys and to discover your values. They are like your North Star guiding you and reminding you of what all this is all about.

Otherwise allow me to leave you with my favourite lines from the character Anne Montgomery in What If series ( I can understand if you find it a little controversial in some ways) 

Everything happens for a reason. 

Think about that for a moment.

All your efforts, personal, professional, canal…

Utter and absolute slaves…

to some cosmically predetermine set of outcomes.

As if we have no say in, let alone culpability for, the defining moment in our lives.

If you want a life of purpose…

by inverting the notion that everything happens for a reason.

Redefine it.

Not as some future explanation for terrible tragedy or glorious achievement but as a validation…

Of the deliberate choices that lead us to these critical junctures in the first place.

Assert authority over chance, fate, and destiny, because everything does happen for a reason. 

And that reason is you.

To attain elite success, you must be willing to make hard choices,

Do the unpleasant things, risk your most valuable assets and do away with the shackles designed by society to limit us: love, marriage, children.

And above all, the uninvited imposition of lesser people’s moral agendas.

Because nothing worthwhile is ever achieved without sacrifice.

And true greatness…only comes to those…willing to pursue it…at any cost.

-Anne Montgomery from what if.

©nicollehanselmann 2020

Align Your Values

The first thing I do with my clients when they walk through the door in our first session is that I ask them to stand up for the exercise. I want you to dare to dream. I want you to close your eyes. And while you do that I would like you to record yourself as you go through this exercise…


These are words spoken by Sue of AllBright in her video on how to find your values. So the idea of standing, does have a lot of benefits including bypassing limiting beliefs, but that is not what I want to dwell on today. I want to talk about knowing our values. You may now wonder, “Why would anyone go through all that trouble?”

A lot of us go through life not knowing our highest values, we don’t even know what it means having them.

The big question would then be, Why the fuss?

Back in my early 20s life was cool and exciting, like it is for many of us in that age. Opportunities presented themselves and it was fun, kind of magnetic, they just came.

My sister and I ended up working together in the same spa. A very fine 5 star spa, it was one of the few back in those days in the whole city. But then something happened between our boss and my sister, forcing my sister to stand up for herself, she then resigned with immediate effect. I followed suit. I resigned too, impulsively, there and then. It was a wrap.

Our boss was totally bewildered. He apologised and asked us back to reinstate us. After several days we all met at the HR’s office. What was interesting was his only question to me, “Why did you also resign?”

Really funny!

For me I suppose I knew where I stood. My thoughts must have been, if you can do that to someone else, more so my sister, then it won’t be long before I’m next.

When you are young, you are hyper and stand for yourself knowing that more opportunities will present themselves, it is the least of your worries, no a hint of fear. Nothing keeps you in a place you stopped connecting with in terms of your values.

Values as a game changer.

They are what make us tick. A value is something that brings you joy and satisfaction, and is something that’s extremely important to you e.g. connectivity, peace, independence, and/or freedom, travel, adventure the list goes on and on.

Value here is not in reference to societal moral compass or any for that, it is not in the sense of right or wrong, good or bad per se. When we are living a life that is honouring our values, we feel a real sense of fulfilment. This is where we attain our authentic happiness, we are fully alive and most fully ourselves. Nirvana!

Conversely, when we are not living according to our highest values, there’s an inner sense of ‘disharmony’ a ‘dissonance’ of some sort. We are not coherent. This is why so many of us are unhappy and lack motivation at work, or at home or just about life in general. We lose the ability to stay true to our values and vision.

Most certainly in the long run constantly being incoherent lead to anxiety, depression, anger and all sorts of physical illnesses.

An example, if your value is improving other people’s lives, contributing, and serving then, consider a possible career in say teaching as that will be in alignment with those values.


So now, I want you to literally stand up, close your eyes, and dare to dream. Envision your dream life, go into so much details as possible e.g You are all dressed up in your best outfit and are giving a speech at a TedTalk. The hall is full to the brim (specify age, gender, locality) , you travelled all the way, for miles, to the venue in London and had a good night rest in the nearest 5 star hotel…

Go ahead and dream. The dream will reveal to you your core values. From the example above it, you may figure out that you love to share and contribute to the world, that you value freedom, travelling, adventure, etc.

Dream and dream big.

Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live-Margaret Fuller.

It’s pretty damn hard to bring your uniqueness into actual being if you’re always doing the same things as a lot of other people- Brendan Francis.



©nicollehanselmann 2020


Ref: Supercharge Your Career with AllBright.

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Rewrite Your Stars.

Rewriting your stars is as easy as ABC

I have been rich and I’ve been poor. Believe me, honey, rich is better.-Sophie Tucker

Quotes like these sometimes seem cheesy, crappy or just too uncool.

But once you begin to dig them you will never be the same, you may need some form of self-development to get there.

This quote takes me back to my upbringing, for the better part we could never afford a meal. 

For me being poor isn’t an option. Hold on, hear me out first.

I come from a family of naturally slender people so now you can imagine slim without food.

I still sometimes wonder how we stayed positive maybe that is why I am here today.

Now picture this, back in the 90s we lived in a rented one bedroomed house before it got converted into two. We were a family of 6, my mum and the 5 of us, though one of us was mostly away. The constant drama in that home is to be cherished. Anyway, my mum was a very hardworking lady but then she lost her job, with no other skills, life changed for us. Borrowing and foraging started. We had some pawpaw trees around the building, if trees could express their feelings, these ones would have been scared of us. We hardly let the fruits to ripen to eat them, we ate them crunchy and for some reason loved it.

That was our life. Our childhood. Being sent home from school for fees and all was the norm. At some point, some of us tried boarding school, I eventually ended up living with an uncle for all of my teen life. It wasn’t easy, anyone who has lived with a relative would know what I am talking about. I am grateful that I knew it wasn’t my future, I felt it in my core. “The must be a better way”, I told myself. And I decided whatever it takes, whatever happens in my life, I may have to paint the sky blue first before I call it quits. What I didn’t realise at that was that I was manifesting. I had asked for something at that point in my life and it got written in the stars.

I have been blessed. I have travelled to places that I only read in books. 

Most of us go through a lukewarm life, neither cold nor hot. With some lucky occasional movie star moments thrown in the mix. But deep down we know we want better, we know we deserve better. I have lived a life of doubts in the past before I reached a point of total believe. Doubts and fears only manifest the negative. Now that I know better, it is all about concentrating on the rock star within me and nurturing that.

I’m assuming if you are still reading this you do go through the same thing, a lot of us do.

Some give up and settle. That is where the difference comes in.

Is there a solution? There is, always has been.

I made it my mission too help as many people as I can.

Help you realise that we can create our ideal life, and that life is what we make it, it is all within our control. Anyone, including you have the capability of making a change in their lives.

I will share a simple method. As easy as ABC…

  • Ask, believe and receive. 
  • Be grateful for everything. For the things you have and those you are yet to have.
  • Care for yourself and others. Look after your mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Care for others by giving anything you have it could be your time, your knowledge it is not always about money.

Practice makes perfect. Do forgive yourself if you haven’t mastered it yet. Just remind yourself that life is about enjoying the journey not about getting to the destination, it makes it a lot easier and fun. Be open to learning something new everyday, it is one of the things I look forward to everyday.

My website covers different aspects of development with a lot of other tips and resources. If there is anything you need to ask, please do, I am more than happy too share my experience. Go ahead and rewrite your stars.


Ps: Now I know that the pawpaw trees were God’s way of providing for us even in the toughest of times, the trees had to obey.

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Clean up your act, it matters.

Albeit Einstein has been widely credited for defining crazy to us.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”

“You are a victim of the rules you live by” – Jenny Holzer.

Many years ago, as a young painstakingly industrious and zealous lady, I lost my hearing.

It was of those devastating things that you don’t wish on anyone, not even your worst enemy.

I was in my prime, got really ill, and ended up hospitalised for a good few days, just over a week. Prior to that I was self-employed and employed too, things were awesome, before they weren’t!

Business had gone through a rough patch. I had to shut it down, and had quit my job as well, for different reasons, the two incidents were not even remotely correlated, but they did happen closely together.

You must have heard of people having their worst year? That was mine.

There was even a robbery incident involving knives sandwiched somewhere in between the craze, but to cut the long story short we will concentrate on a different part of my journey. I would say I had my experience of what they say, “Bad things come in threes”

It takes a lot to kill my spirit.

Incidentally, after a lot of experimentation with my body, by the doctor, being in a semi-coma, and eventually going back home, that is when things started dawning on me.

I had to learn how to walk again, I also realised that I couldn’t hear too well either. I had lost my hearing from the antibiotics as some sort of a not-so-funny side effect. The sad thing is that I still never realised how bad it was, or how serious things were or even, that it could be permanent and in effect change my course.

My life had changed and would never be the same again and I just had no idea how much.

My mum, bless her heart, would wake me up in unholy hours of the morning for fresh air and exercises, grrrrr! 

God knows how much of a struggle it was for me, and for her, and how much I hated it.

Anyway, several weeks later I felt better. I felt ready to face the world, bring it on!!!

Embracing the lessons…

Ready! Set! Go! I decided to go and visit my sister, on my own. Happy bunny, back in to the real world where she belongs, hop! hop!

I crossed the road safely, somewhat managed to, got to the other end. And for some reason, I decided to look back, turned my head and was met by a very angry looking cyclist. He was busy swearing at me, at least what seemed like cussing, at the top of his voice, really mad and boiling, if words could kill, I wouldn’t be here.

Onwards and upwards, I got to my sister’s, narrated the story and we all laughed like crazy. We were still young you know. There is something about being young, whatever it is, we found the incident really funny. Indeed young can be carefree. When you are young you tend to laugh, a lot, at least we did, at everything. Everything just seemed hilarious for weird reasons.

Back to the story, so after some years, quite a few, of being in denial and refusing to get some hearing aids, I eventually carved in. Mmmh!

My audiologist gave me the news I had dreaded to hear.

“You have internal damage in your blah blah blah, meaning your hearing will never be restored blah blah blah it is permanent…’ Absolutely upsetting.

I would say for the first time it did actually really hit me. There I was disappointed, but I had no room and time for a pity party.

Are my hearing aids perfect? No! Absolutely not! Not even close, but they are something, and I know now, to be grateful.                                                                                         Was I always upbeat after going through all that? Definitely not, I would be lying if I said otherwise.                                                                                                                          Did I have the right to be mad? Probably, I got “robbed” of my prime, “robbed” of my potential life, of my dreams…

Today I see things differently. I understand that things happen the way they do for a reason, for a higher purpose. Hence my paradigm “Embrace the lessons”


Spirituality and personal development has helped me a great deal. Especially in finding my lives purpose. I do love sharing my knowledge and my journey. Anyone has the potential to pick a side, to discover and embrace their lives purpose. I picked self-awareness, self-improvement, personal development, and a lot of life defining paths. Also, came to a realisation of how much of a control I have, of my circumstances and my outlook. Fell in love with my journey, I hope you do yours too.

Today, I wanted us to talk about cleaning up your act .

Clean up your act…

Stop mopping.

It is a waste of time, energy, and potential wondering why some traumas happened to you and not to others. Dust yourself, clean up your act. It is about time you cleaned up your insides as well as your outsides. What I mean by that is that, you need a clean mind because it influences your environment, and vice versa.

Attitude influences the outcome.

I always say everything matters and everything does indeed actually matter.

When you clean your environment it allows you to easily declutter your mind, and when you declutter your mind, say through meditation, it influences how your surroundings will look like, nice and tidy. The two work together and need each other.

“Time past and time future. What might have been and what has been. Point to one end, which is always the present”-T.S Elliot

  • The present is all that counts and it is perfect. Life is a master teacher, don’t let the teacher catch you being unappreciative of what you have right now. If you think you don’t have enough of anything, e.g time, then that is all you will attract.

You will always be busy and never enough time for the things you love and/or for those      you love. This basically boils down to gratitude, be grateful for just being alive.

“Unbelievable as it may sound, you only have to experience a state of order once to be able to maintain it”-Marie Kondo.

  • Declutter, be organised, and have a place for everything: A lot of the things we keep and save are totally unnecessary, you would be surprised at how much joy they could give to someone else.

So give, give, give away. Learn Marie Kondo’s techniques on the best tips on how to declutter she will absolutely change you life, forever.

  • Simplify your life and environment: Less is more. For instance, there is a difference between being busy and being productive. Learn about minimalism and notice how much you will end up saving by just stopping to accumulate the never ending material possessions.

Something new and shiny is a trend that will never stop. Be in control of the accumulation. Do you know, how much a car loses its value as soon as it leaves the showroom? Simplify every area of your life, and feel immediate joy.

“Tell me your friends and I will tell you who you are”

                         -Not known

  • Upgrade your network: You could brag about going for some expensive coffee as you like, but the bottomline is that they are people you invest your time with and others…well have a guess.
  • Socio-gram: There is something called socio-gram a concept I learnt of recently. With socio-gram, the bigger and diverse your network is the better your chances for success.

If your circle of friends is repetitive (redundant), then you probably are not getting enough perspective on different aspects of your life and life in general. Same people, same view, same results.

Life is about learning from what it throws at us, just keep moving even if it is towards the wrong destiny it is far better than standing.


©NicolleHanselmann 2020

Photo credit pexels


Limiting Beliefs

Photo by Thiago Matos on
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on
  • Recognise and find out what they are.
  • Redefine your beliefs.
  • Manage your beliefs.

Our beliefs tend to shape our lives both consciously and unconsciously. We develop all different kinds of beliefs as we grow up, some catapult us to success but some unfortunately stagnates us.

Beliefs, especially those around money, can be reflected by the kind of life we live. Our surroundings would normally tell the tale. You might find that you work so hard and yet never seem to have any money, this is surprisingly very common. You might find yourself to be too impulsive around money, living in a system of hand to mouth.

So, are there things that hold you back from success? Let us find out.

Understanding Beliefs and Where They Come From.

When I use beliefs here I mean that feeling that gives you the conviction, or not, a positive one propels you to action, a negative one keeps you stuck. A negative belief is what we refer to as limiting beliefs in coaching. They do not serve you at all, they only have the opposite effect.

For instance, if you believe money doesn’t grow on trees and you came from a family that struggled, a family that always spoke negatively about money, how there is never enough and/or how money is evil, this can hold you back. You might work so hard but the belief around money causes you to never work smart and never have extra money. It just disappears as soon as you get it.

The major problem with such beliefs they seem airtight, a lot of things around you will make them seen rational and logical. So if you think money is evil you are bound to only notice the rich people around you that are doing evil things to the less fortunate.

There is this story I like to refer to so much. There once were two brothers who grew up with an alcoholic dad. The dad was always in trouble trying to fund his alcoholic behaviour which tragically got him in prison. Years later one of the two brothers ended up in prison too and the other one became filthy rich. A journalist took interest in their story and decided to interview them.

“How did you end up so rich?” the journalist asked the rich brother. “My dad”, he answered.

The journalist then asked the other brother an almost similar question.

“How did you end up in prison?”

“My dad”.

This story shows us how our perceptions and beliefs can shape us, for the two brothers same experience yielded different reactions and results.

Some beliefs do come way right back from childhood but some we pick along they way from our experiences and failures.

Changing Your beliefs.

Start by finding out what your beliefs are.

  • What are some of the things you belief about yourself? Write them down both the negative and positive ones.
  • What do you believe is possible in your life? Do you think you can do anything?
  • What do you believe when it comes to your relationship with others? Would you say your circle is supportive, loving etc?

Your most limiting beliefs get in your way, the problem is they may seem real to you and hence hard to let go of. You might even feel like they serve you in some way from the attachment and not wanting to let go. But you can choose to look at it this way, if you have dreams that feel shattered or you feel stuck because they seem unattainable and would like that to change, then maybe your beliefs are not really serving you, time to write them out and work ways around them. Allow me to help, pick a paper and a pen, have two columns, on one column write all your beliefs and the other one all that you stand to gain, or not gain from each particular belief.

Say, for instance, from the story above and you are one of the brothers, write on first column, My dad is an alcoholic it might be in my gene, then on column two, what this belief enables you to be or not to be, to do or not to do, call it empowerment or payoff , so it will be something like, I can learn to be a lot aware of my alcohol use, never to abuse alcohol and save that money instead.

This exercise is not meant to be perfect, do it your way but whatever you do make sure it is on paper. write it down find a method that works for you.

Once you recognise your limiting beliefs then you are on your journey to disempowering it. Add some meditations and affirmation, especially for the stubborn beliefs, then you have dealt with it from the subconscious level, the roots.


  • Limiting beliefs are incomplete and misleading, just focus on the whole picture and reshape it.
  • Stop feeding negative beliefs, if the beliefs is influenced by the media, the news etc reduce on the consumption of it.
  • Pick beliefs that give you conviction, motivation and propel you to move forward.
  • Give yourself time to reshape your underlying beliefs.
  • Ask for help when stuck. You could email more on more about this and clarity of on any matter you do not follow.


The story of two wolves.

A grandfather tells his grandson a metaphor of two wolves fighting within him to explain his own inner conflict. One represents darkness and despair the other light and hope. The grandson then innocently wonders and asks “Which wolf will win?” Of which the grandfather answers “Whichever I feed”

Ps: We shall tackle a topic on fear which is a common limiting belief.

Thank you.

Mental Wellness

You have no idea how promising the world begins to look once you have decided to have it all for yourself. And how much healthier your decisions are once they become entirely selfish. Anita Brookner.

One thing that I have really come to love and speak about a lot is mental health.A tops so close to my heart.

When “the lights are on and nobody is home’ there is nothing much a lot of us could possibly do to help such an individual, save for our consistent support.

I have become like a street preacher when it comes to mental wellbeing, “LOOK AFTER YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET,-YOU.”

Coaching has brought to light how we can look after ourselves by providing us with adequate resources to do so. It feels like not so long ago people chased success only from a financial point of view and ironically, most people ended up losing their first wealth, their health.

Let us first start with the basics.

Mental Wellness

What is mental wellness

Positive mental health is associated with psychological and mental welfare. Mental wellness refers to a good/healthy state of mind.. It entails more than just the availability of a  mental illness. Mental health may consist of an individual’s potential to enjoy life and develop stability between the activities of life and efforts to attain psychological elasticity.

To be mentally well imply that your mind is in the right state and it is working in your best interest. You are capable of thinking, feeling, and behaving in ways that develop a positive effect on your social and physical welfare.

Mental wellness is influenced by various factors that consist of biological aspects like heredity, personal factors such as self-esteem, experiences from childhood and way of life,   and lastly the physical environment such as the state of an individual’s home.

The Significance of Mental Wellness

Individuals who are mentally well tend to be positive, self-confident, and enthusiastic.

They are often in charge of their thoughts, feelings, and conduct. This helps them to adapt to challenges, create strong bonds, and appreciate life. Attaining good mental health enables you to discover your abilities, manage stress and daily life challenges, take part in productive work, and give positive contributions to your community.

Maintaining mental health needs time and commitment, the more you bank on your mental health, the more powerful it will turn out to be.

Individuals who are mentally well possess a sense of control. People who have good mental health manage their destiny and make independent decisions. Secondly, they can perceive circumstances positively. They perceive challenges as a way in which they can recollect and better themselves, they become able to counter any predicament that might come their way. Lastly, people who are mentally well, healthily display their feelings and they are often rational.

Promoting Mental Wellness

There are several ways of improving mental health.

Firstly,  being informed about your emotions and responses. Carefully observe the things in your life that make you sad and annoyed, make sure to address the things that frustrate you. Secondly, mental health can be enhanced by staying positive. An individual should focus on the bright side of life, connect with positive-minded people, and forgive themselves and others in case of a mistake. Thirdly, you have to make connections through organizing dates or joining groups to get to know new people and establish contacts. Lastly, one should be able to balance between play and work. You should create time for the things you enjoy doing and concentrate on positive energy.

Mental Health in Life Coaching.

We can not afford to neglect the most important part of our lives. It is easy for people to sort their jobs, homes, family, relationships but often times do not take time to recharge the batteries.

What good is all the success in the world without the mental capacity to enjoy it?

You are your best asset, invest in yourself. Always best to speak to someone when things become too much to bear preferably a professional.


Snyder, C.R. & Lopez, S.J. (2002). Handbook of Positive Psychology. New York: Oxford University Press.

WHO, April 2016. Mental health: strengthening our response. Source:

For someone to speak in regards to mental well being visit:

What Life Coaching Is Not.

It is important to note the 3 things that coaching isn’t.

1.Coaching is not counselling or therapy.

Coaching is not about fixing traumas or all those things that are perceived as fundamentally wrong with people.

When you have a dental issue who do you go to? A dentist, right?

Every profession plays its role and they all work out fantastic like a completed puzzle.

2.Coaching is not mentoring.

It is great to have a mentor during the time of coaching but the mentor isn’t your coach.

A mentor is someone who is ahead of you and is willing to share their skills, knowledge as a road map. It is important to find one.

Surprisingly, sometimes the best mentors are those who you “envy” those people who are already living our ideal life. Once you befriend them, they half your learning curve making everything seem simple and effortless.

3.Coaching is not giving advice.

Coaching illuminates.

A coach does not give advice. A coach helps you achieve higher level of lives satisfaction.

Helps make your goals a reality.


True life coaching comes from within, the gurus are fine and exciting but we all have the capabilities in us to effect change. Coaching is great, lets you bask in the comfort of knowing you can “fix” your life, but your job is to make sure these fixes are not just some elegant and beautiful stickers but long lasting results.

For a change to last, to effect change that change, it is vital for it to come from deep within yourself. You have to recognise and rejoice in those baby steps you make.

This is what Jeni Purdie says about life coaching:

“A purposeful conversation that inspires you to create your best life”

Unfortunately for us, we love our little chit-chats. I have them. We all do.

By chit-chats I mean those non-stop conversations we have with ourselves. They are okay. But, all we need to do is make them more meaningful and purposeful.

Together we can make use of life coaching by asking appropriate questions instead.

For instance, we need to ask;

  • Why do you act the way you do?
  • What are your limiting beliefs?
  • Do you have any other options and what are they? etc

So basically life coaching leaves you with answers, leaves you refreshed, inspired and lets you dream even bigger than ever before.

I would like to take you on that amazing journey of beginning of the rest of your life.

Why Blog?

I started my self-development journey a few years ago, and like many of us I got stuck at the analysing stage.

Yes, Paralysis by analysis. It is super common.

(Don’t worry it is not my job to judge neither do I want to)

Here is the funny part, we think that we are alone and yet we are not.

Millions of us love the knowing, the acquiring knowledge and the processing and never doing anything about it.

Tommy baker in his book The 1% rule he nailed it, he said that:

“…when I discovered there were people using personal development and seminars as an escape, not as a tool to execute and create progression their life…” it dawn on me how bad this is, for most of us”.

The above has become like a blueprint in my life, it is a quote I have turned into some sort mantra.

Likely for me, at the time I was reading his book I had already made some steps to making actual seeable changes in my life, then as fate would have it, I had an incident at work that catapulted me into the deep end.



No regrets whatsoever.

The best bit is sharing and realising that there is unquenchable thirst out in the world.

Silver lining.

People need help, we all do and at times clueless on what to do with all these readily available information.

Would I have handled my personal life differently if I didn’t have the resources and help? Of course YES. In fact that is when most of us press the panic button. I didn’t need to. I was good, armed to my teeth with the right tools.

All these gave birth to my mission, and the mission is to help as many people as possible. Learned about coaching, gathered resources and now sharing it all through all available avenues including blogging.

I hope you will join me in this journey as we journal and embrace all useful life lessons to ensure we come out of this completely new and full of life.

For me having this website that could potentially inspire and change lives is another way of proving that we can do anything we set to do we only need to believe.

If I can, so can you.


Nicolle Hanselmann.

PS: Another goal achieved

PSS: Blog your way to the bank. Make money blogging.

Click the link below