“What seems nasty, painful and even evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength. If faced with an open mind, every moment is a golden one for anyone who has the vision to recognise it as such.” 

Henry Miller 

It is all good, even the bad (stuff) 

 Something interestingly weird happened to me this week and I just have to share it. 

 You know how much easier it is to have a positive mindset when everything is working, right?  But, in order to appreciate life and its beauty we have to experience the good, and their opposites. That’s what we call living to the fullest. 

  Thank you all for those who have been following my blogs and videos on YouTube. You probably must have heard me mention my hearing loss quite a few times (Allow me not to repeat the ordeal today, it gets tiresome and boring)  

We are so quick to judge.  

Before I embark on my story. 

 Have you ever felt judged? Ever got the feeling someone hardly knew you but they already created a presumption of you? Have you ever caught someone off guard when they let slip of what they think of you? 

Munchausen’s syndrome 

Presumptions (or prejudgements) obviate the need to genuinely get to know someone. 

(Munchausen’s syndrome is a psychological disorder where someone pretends to be ill) 

 

The biggest “Oopsy” Moment 

 Let me tell you what happened to me just a few days ago. 

Some human being had an “Oopsy!” moment. 

This person was trying to show me something but as they did so something slipped and it showed their previous conversation, about me. As a blogger it has to go down on pen and paper, in my case keyboard and screen. 

This “Oopsy!” showed the conversation they had had with someone else regarding my hearing, this person believed that it was all made up.  

 The conversation stated that I was probably not hard-of-hearing at all as I claim to be. And yes, the conversation lingered on the screen long enough for me to read it. I was being good, focussed, and concentrating on what was being shown to me rather than the presumptuous comments about me. 

 As much as I understand that some people lie about such things, sickness, I was left wondering what they thought I stand to gain by my lying. 

The bad 

Presumptions can be a killer. 

Pretend? Why would I pretend about a medical condition? 

I am the only one who totally understands how this affects me, and has over the years. No one else will ever understand my journey better than I do. The opportunities I missed, the bruising of my confidence, having a child who had to learn how to shout. Pretend? Even my very current further studies application took longer than necessary. The tutors had no idea how I would manage in the noisy environment and hence needed my assurance. I felt drilled just to make it through. At some point I even thought they were considering pulling out. Pretend? 

The Good 

Good thing I am equipped with life coaching resources and knowledge now. I am far from the person I was years ago, all young and naive. Did it hurt? Of course, it did, I am not made of steel just because I choose positivity. Could it have taken me back to dark ages? Possibly, not. It is all about my mindset. I now know how to create my ideal life which has got nothing to do with what people think of me, but what I think of myself. 

Silver lining 

I came from not wanting to wear any hearing aids to have state of the art type. I started off by trying the free hearing aids but they never worked for me. So, when one judges, it hurts. So far, I have spent over £5k on hearing aids, bad for my pocket, good for my ears. My newest one has Bluetooth and has helped transform my life to have a semblance of normalcy.  

 Yeah, before you judge anyone ask yourself what you stand to gain. If it doesn’t serve you and doesn’t serve the victim, ditch it. It was an accident I was never meant to ever know but it could have been avoided. 

Don’t judge a book by its cover.  

I spent over 10 years of my life rebuilding what I thought was broken, revamping my confidence, and such a small mistake, if allowed, could ruin everything I have ever worked hard for.   

Hold your judgement beautiful people. Hold your judgement. 

 

Ps: Writing is such a therapy. I have lived to tell my truth. 

Take care. Be good.  

Photo Credit: Ekaterina Bolovtsova, Andrea Piacquadio and cottonbro from Pexels

  

©Nicolle Hanselmann 2021