Are some of us guilty of schadenfreude?*
You know we all sometimes do things for the strangest of reasons. Factors that may seem as strong motivators to us, may turn us into silent monsters. Simple things such as pursuit of money can turn out to be empty and shallow but gets worse when we pray for other people’s harm, or intentionally harm others for our own gain.
We have seen how COVID-19 has equaled to rocketing masks sells and hand sanitiser sells too. Now, imagine if someone had done that for their profit? Awful!
Life and its challenges.
Sometimes some misfortune just occur making one person rich and the other poor. One at peace, the other at war.
What shouldn’t be celebrated is causing and/or praying intentional misfortunes for pleasure and self-satisfaction.I advocate for one knowing their values. Once you know what they are, and that your life doesn’t have to depend on other people’s misfortunes, you will find your true purpose in life.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent- Elenor Roosevelt
People do things that hurt you with your permission. No, I am not trying to be judgemental, it is what it is. Whenever people do things that make you lose your cool, hurt you, bothers you just now that you allowed it to happen.
You can stop most of this behaviours gracefully and effectively when you practice the below steps. I have covered it before but just in case you missed it.
First Step: Inform
Inform the person of where they crossed the line. Some people honestly have no idea where the ‘line’ is.
It can be something like, “Do you realise that you are shouting at me?”
“Your comment about my job hurt me”…
Second Step: Request
Request the person to stop if he persists.
For instance, “ I urge you to stop discussing about my job”
Third Step: Demand
Insist for them to stop it. You would hope, a person with sense, would have noticed their uncouth manners by now, surprise! Lo! and behold, now and again one or two will never cease to surprise.
“I insist you stop going on and on about my job”
Well, if all the above didn’t work then step four is called for.
Fourth Step: Action
Your Emotional Intelligence should play a big part here. You don’t need remarks or comeback comments, just simply take action such as leaving the room. It takes two-to-tango. Do not entertain it. Self-awareness is so important it makes you know your worth.
None of these steps need you to raise your voice, stay calm and collected.
Let me know if you have ever used the method above. Lastly, remember to always use a neutral tone when setting boundaries.
©Nicolle Hanselmann 2021
*Schadenfreude (/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/; German: [ˈʃaːdn̩ˌfʁɔʏ̯də] (listen); lit. ‘harm-joy’) is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another.
Schadenfreude is a complex emotion where, rather than feeling sympathy, one takes pleasure from watching someone’s misfortune. This emotion is displayed more in children than adults. However, adults also experience schadenfreude, although generally they conceal it.