- Recognise and find out what they are.
- Redefine your beliefs.
- Manage your beliefs.
Our beliefs tend to shape our lives both consciously and unconsciously. We develop all different kinds of beliefs as we grow up, some catapult us to success but some unfortunately stagnates us.
Beliefs, especially those around money, can be reflected by the kind of life we live. Our surroundings would normally tell the tale. You might find that you work so hard and yet never seem to have any money, this is surprisingly very common. You might find yourself to be too impulsive around money, living in a system of hand to mouth.
So, are there things that hold you back from success? Let us find out.
Understanding Beliefs and Where They Come From.
When I use beliefs here I mean that feeling that gives you the conviction, or not, a positive one propels you to action, a negative one keeps you stuck. A negative belief is what we refer to as limiting beliefs in coaching. They do not serve you at all, they only have the opposite effect.
For instance, if you believe money doesn’t grow on trees and you came from a family that struggled, a family that always spoke negatively about money, how there is never enough and/or how money is evil, this can hold you back. You might work so hard but the belief around money causes you to never work smart and never have extra money. It just disappears as soon as you get it.
The major problem with such beliefs they seem airtight, a lot of things around you will make them seen rational and logical. So if you think money is evil you are bound to only notice the rich people around you that are doing evil things to the less fortunate.
There is this story I like to refer to so much. There once were two brothers who grew up with an alcoholic dad. The dad was always in trouble trying to fund his alcoholic behaviour which tragically got him in prison. Years later one of the two brothers ended up in prison too and the other one became filthy rich. A journalist took interest in their story and decided to interview them.
“How did you end up so rich?” the journalist asked the rich brother. “My dad”, he answered.
The journalist then asked the other brother an almost similar question.
“How did you end up in prison?”
This story shows us how our perceptions and beliefs can shape us, for the two brothers same experience yielded different reactions and results.
Some beliefs do come way right back from childhood but some we pick along they way from our experiences and failures.
Changing Your beliefs.
Start by finding out what your beliefs are.
- What are some of the things you belief about yourself? Write them down both the negative and positive ones.
- What do you believe is possible in your life? Do you think you can do anything?
- What do you believe when it comes to your relationship with others? Would you say your circle is supportive, loving etc?
Your most limiting beliefs get in your way, the problem is they may seem real to you and hence hard to let go of. You might even feel like they serve you in some way from the attachment and not wanting to let go. But you can choose to look at it this way, if you have dreams that feel shattered or you feel stuck because they seem unattainable and would like that to change, then maybe your beliefs are not really serving you, time to write them out and work ways around them. Allow me to help, pick a paper and a pen, have two columns, on one column write all your beliefs and the other one all that you stand to gain, or not gain from each particular belief.
Say, for instance, from the story above and you are one of the brothers, write on first column, My dad is an alcoholic it might be in my gene, then on column two, what this belief enables you to be or not to be, to do or not to do, call it empowerment or payoff , so it will be something like, I can learn to be a lot aware of my alcohol use, never to abuse alcohol and save that money instead.
This exercise is not meant to be perfect, do it your way but whatever you do make sure it is on paper. write it down find a method that works for you.
Once you recognise your limiting beliefs then you are on your journey to disempowering it. Add some meditations and affirmation, especially for the stubborn beliefs, then you have dealt with it from the subconscious level, the roots.
- Limiting beliefs are incomplete and misleading, just focus on the whole picture and reshape it.
- Stop feeding negative beliefs, if the beliefs is influenced by the media, the news etc reduce on the consumption of it.
- Pick beliefs that give you conviction, motivation and propel you to move forward.
- Give yourself time to reshape your underlying beliefs.
- Ask for help when stuck. You could email more on more about this and clarity of on any matter you do not follow.
The story of two wolves.
A grandfather tells his grandson a metaphor of two wolves fighting within him to explain his own inner conflict. One represents darkness and despair the other light and hope. The grandson then innocently wonders and asks “Which wolf will win?” Of which the grandfather answers “Whichever I feed”
Ps: We shall tackle a topic on fear which is a common limiting belief.
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