10 things I learnt in 2020

Celebration.
Celebration.
Happy festivity

Today, I reflect on some of things I have learnt in the year of COVID-19 ( about myself, people and success)

  • Beauty is all around me.
  • Things change really fast.
  • Vulnerability is bravery.
  • People will disappoint you.
  • Energy vampires will suck you dry.
  • Know Your People.
  • Happiness is a choice.
  • Let Go, Let God.
  • Gratitude
  • Love Yourself

Reflecting on this year is very funny to me, the things I have done, boy oh! boy…sigh*

No! Hold on a minute. My sigh is actually a positive one. I have done so many brave things that leave me in awe of myself.

Not a lot of people know this, not that it is a secret or anything, but I did lose my job recently. Yeah! I know.

My case wasn’t directly related to Corona pandemic or anything like that, however I would say it was influenced by it in some level.

I had planned to eventually leave anyway, only it came sooner than expected. What I admired about myself, is how I handled the whole situation positively.

You see, prior to the loss, I had already done things that I could never have dreamt of before, and I knew I had more to offer. I had just started a YouTube channel to encourage people during these times. Believe me when I say this, if there is anything scary I have ever done in my life, this was it for me. It is up there with visiting a snake park.

Before you dismiss my achievement, this is what you need to do, grab a camera and record yourself just speaking then share it with the world to scrutinise it. Try it. A part of me just felt silly, but the drive was greater, so it won.

Anyway, I can say with sound certainty, my year has fantastic.

I have achieved so much in this year than I have in that last 5 years put together. From back to back courses, started and competed, to website development, self-taught, to blogging for two sites a week…and counting.

Built my website from scratch, looks all right doesn’t it (for a learner) and, I am not done yet, another website coming, this time a friend’s. You can give me your orders. Joking!

Let us dive into those things I have learnt living in this changing world.

1. Beauty is all around me. 

Beautiful things are right in front of me, but so are the ugly ones.

This is the universe maintaining its equilibrium.

I have culpability for my choices. I have to seek the wisdom of knowing which ones matter to me. Hence, I get to choose what to see and how to perceive it.

Being indoors a lot this year, left a lot of us feeling very vulnerable and possibly succumbing to depression.

Lesson:

  • Design your ideal life for 2021, go beyond what you believe are your limitations.
  • Decide what luxury and beauty is to you then surround yourself with it.
  • Spoil yourself on a shoestring, there is never a need to break the bank ever.

2. Things change really fast.

We saw how our world became so small and things affected us globally in minutes.You must have seen how fast the world changed into a new world. One minute, all we worried about was our bills, and the next was whether we remembered our masks.

We had no choice but to change with it or be left out.

Nothing is a constant, except for change. Change is inevitable.

Being rigid to change only encourages procrastination and stagnation. EVOLVE.

Lesson:

  • Never consider the negative always find something positive in every situation.
  • Life is all about perspective. When confronted with a negative situation dissect it seeking only the lesson it brings. 
  • Knowledge is power. Being informed about situations diffuse them and we get deeper insights of what we are facing.
  • Brendon Burchard.

“ We too often cling to the past, just when vision is required of us. We liked our old comforts, failing to ever see they were inadequate and beneath our potential. 

And so she uncertainty shifts the ground beneath us, we crouch and grab at the earth hoping for stability; or, we can leap and leap and land in a new and better spot.

Lift your eyes upward from all the trouble; look outward and forward and know that tomorrow’s expanding freedom is better than yesterdays’s stale certainties.

Do not cling. Do not fail to envision the good and remarkable future”

  • “The ocean doesn’t complain about the dance of ten million waves; so don’t be concerned with the rise and fall of thoughts.” Papaji
  • “Future-proofing your career is less about picking a safe job and more about constantly updating your skills throughout your career”-Joseph Aoun

3. Vulnerability is bravery.

Thanks to Brenè Brown who has taught us to be ok with being vulnerable.

Being brave, and its definition, is an individual thing. To some just stepping out for their weekly shopping during the pandemic was brave. 

We are all different and that’s the beauty of it all.

Lesson:

  • Let us not be quick at judging others in instances when their choices are different from our own.
  • When we get to understand people we develop empathy.
  • “…the measure of a man (or woman), is how they treat someone who is of absolutely no use to them…”-Unknown.
  • We should befriend our fears, or at least fear nothing except fear itself to achieve dreams.
  • Being brave is also a choice like anything else. Choose courage.
  • “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”- Anais Nin.

4. People will disappoint you. 

Of matters friends and family, this one is the trickiest. People will disappoint you, not once, not twice, and it is so disappointing (for lack of a synonym).

This is where we decide to either make peace with that fact or eliminate toxicity. There is no room in this modern would for toxic relationships. God help us all.

 Lesson:

  • Set healthy boundaries. Without boundaries people will go overboard. (Learn more on my other article covering this in-depth )
  • Oprah Winfrey once said that, “When people show you the who they are the first time, believe them.”
  • In as much as we ought to love others, we also need to remember that we can love people but not like them. If they are not trying then you know what to do.
  • Forgive people for being people after all we are all humans we all have our faults.

5. Energy vampires will suck you dry.

People in our lives are a reflection of ourselves, sometimes showing us the things we don’t like about ourselves. But, we should be very wary of the people who drain us of our energies, our time, our money, they will take anything they can get away with.

Energy vampires are the type of people who leave you drained every time you have been around them or been in contact. These are the people that we found ourselves stuck with during the isolation and hence losing ourselves.

Choose your friends wisely.

Lesson:

  • Again as mentioned before, set boundaries, they help.
  • Your health is your wealth, whereby your health covers your mental wellbeing. 
  • It is a waste of time trying to change people.
  • You are who you surround yourself with.

6. Know Your People.

Point 4, 5 and 6 are correlated.

It is important to know who would choose you to go to the desert with them. This is the person you want choose right back, cause you feel the same.

You both know, if incidentally, you ended up in the desert, you will have the best time regardless of the conditions there.

Lesson:

  • Do not spend your time, money (you don’t even have in the first place) etc trying to please people who would never do the same for you.
  • You are not everyone’s cup of tea.

    “ The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, will simply not like you. 

        But the world is also filled with those who love you fiercely. The ones who love you: they are Your People.

        Don’t waste your finite time and heart trying to convince the people who aren’t your people that you have value. They will miss it completely.

        They won’t buy what you are selling. Don’t try to convince them to walk your path with you because you will only waste your time and your emotional good   

        health. You are not for them and they are not for you. You are not their cup of tea and they are not yours.

        Politely wave them along and you move away as well. Seek to share your path with those who recognise and appreciate your gifts, who you are.

        Be who you are.

        You are not everyone’s cup of tea and that is OK”-Not Known

7. Happiness is a choice.

 The pandemic had us stuck with ‘strangers’. People we only saw on our days off, yet some are actually family, our own flesh and blood. Awkward!

Happiness is a daily quest that we ought to decide to choose on a daily basis. There are lots of ways to ensure that happens. 

For instance, we can play some musics, and/or dance, talk to people we love, meditate, whatever it takes.

Lesson:

  • “The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.”Dr. Wayne Dyer
  • Surrounding yourself with things that add joy to your life.

8. Let Go, Let God.

Simply let Go.

Pray for serenity. Let God teach you your part. Trust me it is so easy to play.

Lesson:

  • “We have little power to choose what happens, but we have complete power over how we respond.”-Arianna Huffington
  • Step back. Allow things to unfold. There’s a beauty to be found in letting things be.” Tamara Levitt
  • “If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely you will have Complete Peace.Ajahn

9. Give thanks. 

In all things, give thanks.

Gratitude is everything, it is the antidote to most of our problems.

If we concentrated on things we are grateful for we will never be depressed, or compete with others, or even be jealous of them.

Practicing meditation, and just taking some time out to breathe in and out appreciating life transformed my life.

Lesson:

  • Gratitude can be practiced. 
  • Give thanks in all things, there is always something. 
  • Start with the small things and bigger ones will be added.
  • “What you appreciate, appreciates”

10. Love yourself

Above all things, love yourself.

Here we go, did you know that there is no one else who can love you, more than you can love yourself?

Self-love means you can love others easily without judgement. 

With the quarantine, some of us found ourselves bearing our own company, it is hard if you didn’t already love yourself.  Imagine how we hate being around people we don’t like only in this case that person is you. Aah!

Lesson:

  • Loving yourself attracts better things in life, if you don’t love yourself you attract people who will ill-treat you as you don’t now any better.
  • There are promises made for you, things you are already entitled to, with loving yourself you discover your self-worth and believe in your destiny.
  • Be patient with yourself. Forgive yourself for your past wrongdoings and past choices. You have survived 2020 please! cut yourself some slack.
  • Self-love isn’t selfish at all. On the contrary, it is actually selfless.

Suggestion, can the person who said it is wrong to love oneself be shoot? Come onJust kidding!

Happy Festive Season y’all.

“There is freedom waiting for you,

on the breezes of the sky.

And you ask, ‘what if I fall?’

Oh but my darling, what if you fly?” Erin Hanson

 

Suggestions: If you loved this article you will love this one too https://nicollehanselmann.com/a-butterly-landed-on-your-shoulder

…and don’t forget to like and leave a comment. Thank you.

Photo Credit: https://www.facebook.com/bigzimagee

©nicollehanselmann 2020

Published by Life lessons by Nicolle Hanselmann

Life Lessons by Nicolle Hanselmann started out by helping people stay positive during the 2020 pandemic through sharing of all uplifting information via blogs and video blogs. Then a life defining moment hit home and gave birth to my mission. My mission “ Anyone can and has the capability of transforming their life by using their tragedy to catapult them to greatness, they just sometimes need someone to help them see it and navigate through it’ What is life coaching? More and more people are becoming aware of the need for a life coach. Find out more on what it is and how it works I provide lots of insights and free resources.

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